Here's a funny one
Oh I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth
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Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils
beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky
food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
I wish I'd been
that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than
fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me
choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.
When I
think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I
picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut
brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.
My Mother,
she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I
was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I
never had much time to spend.
Oh I showed them the toothpaste
all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down
brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time...
I could bite!
If I'd known I was paving the way,
To
cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections
and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.
So I lay
in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And
his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two
amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."
How I
laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters
beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are
beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
By Pam Ayers